MATTIE McGRATH & HOLY WATER

This is one of Tina's stories from the time when I was Harbour Master in Castletownbere in the 1980's; note that I say one because there are many tales from that time in West Cork. I was there helping to develop the port as one of Ireland's major fishery centres so the harbour did get Spanish, English and other foreign vessels landing that required the presence of a Customs Revenue Officer. This Officer in Castletown was one really nice young man called Matthew McGrath from Dublin. He was known as Mattie.

As I have said, Mattie was a really nice young man and became virtually one of the family, he was not much older than our sons, Greg and Gerard. He introduced Gerard to Gaelic Football [a cross between rugby and soccer] and they all went out to the Wheel Inn for the local dances and fun on weekends. Sometimes Velia, who was 5 years old at the time, would persuade Mattie to take her on board the regular Spanish vessels for a dish of scrumptious french fries cooked in olive oil. You get the picture - a young fellow away from home and finding a happy family on hand.

Now Mattie boarded in the town with a typical old-school Irish Catholic landlady, you know the sort, religious pictures, the Sacred Heart, statues of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and so on. And always a container of Holy Water by the door.

Every week she would go to the local newsagent and pick up Mattie's order of a Motor Magazine. However one particular week he finished early and picked it up for himself and went back to his lodgings, reclined on his bed, and started to read and enjoy the magazine. Now, totally to his amazement the Landlady entered his room completely uninvited and charged him with reading "a dirty magazine!!" Mattie was totally bemused, somewhat angry, and perplexed as to what to say. I think he really had to bite his tongue.

As Mattie was Customs Officer he worked odd hours when vessels entered or departed the port so later that evening he went out to the harbour. When he got back to the lodgings he found patches of damp and the landlady had obviously turned over his room looking for the book. Then, amazingly, she informed him primly that she "had blessed the room with Holy Water to re-sanctify the place." This brought Mattie to boiling point but we think he calmed down a bit.

Move on a few days and Mattie is at our place ensconced on the settee with Greg, Gerard. and Velia. I am in the armchair. We are all watching TV and enjoying the "Miss Universe Contest" - there was good natured banter and all trying to pick the winner including Velia. There were lovely smells from the kitchen as Tina was making a pie for supper and listening to the laughter in the lounge. Then she entered armed with a basin of cold water AND pastry-brush and proceeded to bless all present with great solemnity. Needless to say the place descended into chaotic laughter ...........you know neither Tina or I can remember who won?